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I know I haven't written for a while. School (both English and music) have been crazy busy. Keeping up can be tough! I'm taking performance opportunities wherever I find them. I'm going to be in the student government show Dixie's Got Talent on Wednesday night. I'm really excited :)
On a sadder note, I found out last Wednesday night that my grandmother died. She was 93 years old, so I was expecting this to happen sometime but it's still really sad. I looked into going to the funeral, but it's a 10 hour drive each way between St. George, Utah, and Los Angeles, California (where my family is and where the funeral is being held) and I can't afford to fly there. I'd also miss two days of school. And my family...let's just say we don't get along very well. There will be like 20 people there at the graveside service and most of us don't like each other.
So I'm going to have to grieve on my own and go to the grave sometime this summer.
It's really hard living out here in St. George. I've never had the tightest family ever. In fact, most of my relatives are dead. My parents didn't have me until my mom was 40 and my dad was 42, and I'm an only child. So a lot of my family members died before I was born or while I was a child. And even before everyone died, my family wasn't very big in the first place. So I've got like five or six family members in California, two in Arizona, some distant cousins in Indiana who I don't really know, and my dad lives in Nevada. There is no one related to me in the entire state of Utah, and my dad's the only person related to me in Nevada.
Family never was the most important thing to me, growing up and afterwards, but out here in Utah everyone has huge families. It's exponential, the growth of families. It's like everyone's related to everyone else, if distantly, in some way or another - except for me. When I tell people that there is no one related to me in the state of Utah, they always ask my last name, and my mother's maiden name, and they never can come up with someone else who has the last name McFarlin (spelled that way) or Hank.
So yeah. It's weird. Family just isn't this important where I come from. And losing my grandmother just highlights what little family I have. Within 20 years, my entire family will probably be dead (a lot of people in my parents' generation didn't have children), and since I can't have kids and don't want kids...I'm the end of the line. It's kind of sad. I'm just glad I came to this realization a long time ago and not just now.
My friend Valerie is having her senior vocal recital tonight at 7:30. I'm excited to go. Hopefully it'll be a good time :)
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On a sadder note, I found out last Wednesday night that my grandmother died. She was 93 years old, so I was expecting this to happen sometime but it's still really sad. I looked into going to the funeral, but it's a 10 hour drive each way between St. George, Utah, and Los Angeles, California (where my family is and where the funeral is being held) and I can't afford to fly there. I'd also miss two days of school. And my family...let's just say we don't get along very well. There will be like 20 people there at the graveside service and most of us don't like each other.
So I'm going to have to grieve on my own and go to the grave sometime this summer.
It's really hard living out here in St. George. I've never had the tightest family ever. In fact, most of my relatives are dead. My parents didn't have me until my mom was 40 and my dad was 42, and I'm an only child. So a lot of my family members died before I was born or while I was a child. And even before everyone died, my family wasn't very big in the first place. So I've got like five or six family members in California, two in Arizona, some distant cousins in Indiana who I don't really know, and my dad lives in Nevada. There is no one related to me in the entire state of Utah, and my dad's the only person related to me in Nevada.
Family never was the most important thing to me, growing up and afterwards, but out here in Utah everyone has huge families. It's exponential, the growth of families. It's like everyone's related to everyone else, if distantly, in some way or another - except for me. When I tell people that there is no one related to me in the state of Utah, they always ask my last name, and my mother's maiden name, and they never can come up with someone else who has the last name McFarlin (spelled that way) or Hank.
So yeah. It's weird. Family just isn't this important where I come from. And losing my grandmother just highlights what little family I have. Within 20 years, my entire family will probably be dead (a lot of people in my parents' generation didn't have children), and since I can't have kids and don't want kids...I'm the end of the line. It's kind of sad. I'm just glad I came to this realization a long time ago and not just now.
My friend Valerie is having her senior vocal recital tonight at 7:30. I'm excited to go. Hopefully it'll be a good time :)
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